Totally Me» traffic barrel monster

Traffic Barrel Monster – The End Game

Jim — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:49:09 +0000

Joseph Carnevale, the traffic barrel monster creator who was arrested in June after Raleigh’s crack police force solved the case, had his day in court. The end result is 50 hours of community service and then the charges will go away. The president of Hamlett Associates plans on erecting the sculpture outside the corporate headquarters and taking Carnevale to lunch. Carnevale plans on doing his community service working with Habitat for Humanity. No word yet on what RPD plans on doing with all the time they’ve got to waste now. Hang out at Snoopy’s, perhaps?

There still hasn’t been any mention in the traditional press but it certainly seems that this whole thing came about because of a joyless thug named K.L. Everett who wears a badge. As near as I can tell (since the traditional press won’t come right out and say it), he took it upon himself to decide a crime had been committed and set to work the huge bureaucratic machine that is Piggy Central. Hope you take a bullet and it kills you in a slow and painful way. I would say that I hope it paralyzes you but then you’d be paraded around as some sort of “hero”. If you’re dead you just go away and the earth is a slightly better place.

Here’s a link to a story in the N&O.

Dangerous Street Artist Nabbed, Part II

Jim — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 13:08:45 +0000

In this story at the N&O, Sarah Ovaska puts a slightly different spin on things. From her article it sounds like Hamlett Associates isn’t the bad guy. Apparently, some overzealous pig named K.L. Everett spotted the dangerous menace to society lurking on Hillsborough Street with his keen piggy eyes and had it dismantled and hauled away for investigation. OK, it probably didn’t happen that way since cops can’t do anything but write tickets on their own. He probably called his sargeant who called whatever fake military rank they use above that to indicate that this pig has a bigger dick than the other one. Then there was some kind of task force convened and so on until the swat team came down to take it apart.

Daniel Hall, the project manager for Hamlett Associates, claims he told Everett they weren’t interested in pressing charges and would like the monster back. So doesn’t that mean that RPD in the person of K.L. Everett really stole the barrels? Now, I’ll grant you that it’s possible that Hamlett Associates is spinning this story once word got out (Isn’t the internet a wonderful thing) but most of these projects are either Time and Materials or Cost Plus billing. Either way, it’s likely that Hamlett would have passed on the cost of the barrels to the State. I’m much more willing to believe that some joyless assholes overstepped their bounds in their quest for a world without sin or danger or variation from the norm.

This is what happens when you give people who grew up wanting to be bullies but didn’t have the balls guns and the authority of The State to back them up. One day we’ll be coming for you motherfuckers. And my smiling face will be one of the last things you see when we blindfold you in front of the ditch.

The Traffic Barrel Monster master criminal caught

Jim — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 22:32:18 +0000

Through the diligent efforts of the fine boys in blue in Raleigh the creator of the Traffic Barrel Monster has been apprehended. Joseph Carnevale, a junior at NC State was charged with misdemeanor damage to property and larceny. It seems thatthe authorities are claiming that there was $360 in damamge done to the 3 barrel that were cut up. Stop. Read that last sentence again (No, not the one that says ‘Stop’, the other last sentence). Three barrels were damaged and unless my calculator has gone batshit that workd out to $120 each. For little plastic barrels. Perhaps now we understand whyroad construction companies winning contracts in NC do such sub-standard work…. they’re spending all the contract money on orange barrels. Here’s a deal for the fuckwits at Hamlett Associates, I’ll personally supply you with all the orange barrels you care to purchase at $90 a piece.

Here’s another thing – NC has a budget shortfall of something in excess of $1 billion. Wake County’s budget increased by 5.8% and included a 2.5 cent property tax increase part of which is to be used for increased law enforcement. I’d love to hammer on Raleigh too but they’ve taken the congressional tack and made their budget completely unreadable. At any rate, I find it moderately offensive that this has wasted clearly non-infinite government dollars. Seriously, make him pay the $360 and move along. Or better yet have him replace the barrels by buying them from me for $270. As if the fucktards feeding at the public trough weren’t making enough money. What I want to know really is why none of these asswipes every get charged for anything when they milk government contracts?

The actual artist is uliveandyouburn (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) chronicles this and many other exploits at his blog NoPromiseOfSafety.com