Normally, when I get an email that’s been passed through dozens of people I assume it’s bullshit. Because I’d like to think there’s some sort of balance in the world, I sincerely hope this is real. So much so that I didn’t even check to see if it was or not. Besides… it’s like we used to say: “Who cares if it’s true as long as it’s a good story?”

I don’t know who was responsible for it or why fucking anybody would think it’s a good idea but apparently whoever named the streets in Hickory NC thought that they could keep outsiders from finding anything if they named all the streets the exact same thing. This is an actual usable set of directions going from one place to another in Hickory.

Let’s say you’re leaving your house at 4460 Section House Rd heading northeast on Section House Rd. Turn right on Springs Rd because if you go straight Section House Rd turns into 26th Avenue Place NE. At 12th Ave Dr NE Springs Rd NE turns into 12th Ave NE and the a few blocks later turns into 16th St NE. Turn right on Highland Ave NE. Turn right on 9th St NE. Cross 9th Ave NE and 9th Ave Pl NE. Turn right on 8th St NE after crossing 8th Ave NE it becomes 8th St Dr SE…. See what I mean? Can anybody explain this to me?

Why do school buses feel like it’s necessary to run on Interstate higways in NC? They’re governed to 45 mph and cause massive tie-ups and there are always alternate routes where they can run the speed limit. I don’t get it.

OMG this is too funny. I hope all this cop’s friends make jokes from now on. Originally seen over at our buddies on Fail Blog.

Since they’ve run out of new ideas in Hollywood… OK that’s not true–there are plenty of new ideas in Hollywood it’s just that the studios are run by risk averse beancounters like every other corporation in America and they surgically remove any creativity when you get your accounting degree. Whatever– they’re re-making Hellraiser. My question is why do they have to re-make movies that were good the first time? How about remaking movies that sucked the first time?

Anyway, I ran across this article written by Gary J. Tunnicliffe who has been the Makeup FX artist on the Hellraiser series since 1993 (which puts him on during the wretched Hellraiser 4 through 8 years). He came up with with a new look for Pinhead which I can’t really say I think much of. It always seemed to me that the Cenobites were mathmatically precise in their exploration of pain. Seems Clive Barker thinks so too.

It should be clear to anybody that the original design was as near perfect as possible since Pinhead only appeared in 7 or 8 minutes of the original film but is the most memorable character. Pinhead as he appeared in the original is pretty close to a textbook example of Pinhead from The Hellbound Heart where it says something along the lines of him having an intricate grid tattooed on his head with a jeweled pin driven into the bone at each intersection. So if we’ve got to re-do let’s go with more adherence to the source material rather than less.

So you’re driving east out of Lumberton, NC on NC-72 minding your own business and the road looks a little like this:

And then right up around the corner in this picture, you see this spring into view:

And think to yourself ‘Is that a hospital or something?’ Then you realize it’s a house. But not one in Hollywood or Miami Beach but fucking Lumberton. Really? Here are other pictures. They attentive reader will note that there’s snow on the ground in some and not others. That’s because they were taken a week apart. And I was driving at about 60 when I took them so I don’t want to hear any shit about how much they suck. This is from the other direction.

And these are of the fountain (???!!!) and front gate

So like I can buy into building a house this big but if it was me it would be back in the woods so that nobody could see it and I didn’t have to listen to trucks fly by my front door all day and night. But then I wouldn’t be building it to prove my penis is bigger than everybody else’s.

Alright then. Latest round of classes are finished so for the next 2 weeks I can start posting again. Technically I guess I suppose I should be studying & that’s certainly part of the plan but based on recent history I’m not hopeful.

‘k, so, I was in this bathroom the other day and this picture was hanging above the toilet. My question is: what exactly does a kitten have to do with the Bible telling people that Jesus loves them?

This article by Stan Schroeder over at Mashable about a guy named Ed Morita who got a tattoo done of a WordPress logo in a sort of biomech background. I thought it was pretty cool although the artwork wasn’t that great.

I missed Thursday’s WYHI. Sorry. To make up for it I’m doing one for the female readers (Seriously? As if there are any female readers) So here it is… Mickey Rourke.

I remember back in the day women literally swooned over Mickey Rourke. And he made several really hot movies with some of the smoking-est women of the 80′s. I have no particular problem with plastic surgery (I’ll post on my thinking about that some day) but why do these Hollywood celebs keep going to people that graduated for the Pablo Picasso School of Medicine? I mean let’s assume that I could afford, and was inclined, to go to a Hollywood plastic surgeon. I’d like to think my first bit of research would be to figure out who did Michael Jackson and Tara Reid and avoid them like the fucking plague. But maybe that’s just me. Whatever.

Here’s Mickey not banging the hotness that is Evan Rachel Wood (Who used to date Marilyn Manson and is  from Raleigh and I like to think is a close friend because I saw her at the Christmas Parade this year).

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